Parkinson's: What Lifts Me Up

 

A Journey Into Parkinson's with Nancy Mellon

Coordinated by Corrine Bayraktaroglu

                                              photo by corrine bayraktaroglu

Once again Fran (our wonderful leader in the journal writing group I am in) is leading us into thoughts to chew on.

She said- “Everything that is happening is an opportunity for gratitude”  And then “ list 5 things that annoy you about.... then change them into gratitiudes”   As in “I am grateful for getting up at 3 a.m again last night?” “Wellllll...it gave me time to be in a quiet, calm space, practice breathing deeply and read “According to Yes” by Dawn French (which is a hoot!).”  That sort of works. I wouldn't choose it but  there is something within not sleeping to be grateful for.

There are things in my past life, that I would not have been grateful for no matter what, my beloved dad dying at 43, my mom's miserable unhappiness at the end of her life. But Parkinson's?  Can I find some ways to be grateful for it?  I think, I probably can, and will sometimes be able to.  But right now, I'm pooped from getting up at 3 a.m. and don't want to!

It has come up-the idea of toxic positivity.  I am not sure I understand the theory.  Unless what it means is if you feel that you must act/be positive, when you feel miserable, to gain the approval of others- then it is being untrue to yourself and your experience.  All I know is, that when I change my thoughts to think about the good things rather than the bad (and Dang it, both always seem to exist) it helps buoy me up.

In the Isolation Journals. Suleika Jaouad said “I do want to make a distinction here between the practice of celebrating small joys and the culture of “toxic positivity,” where we’re told to be ever-grateful, to always search for the silver linings, to put a positive spin on all experiences, even the profoundly tragic. It’s easy to feel pressure to be someone who “suffers well”—grateful and graceful and stoic 24/7. But that doesn’t allow us to exist fully, to experience the full range of the human condition, from happiness to grief, from gratitude to envy. I love observing tiny daily joys because it feels natural and easy, not forced, not pressurized, not all or nothing. And not only has the practice helped ease this difficult passage, it’s helped me identify what lifts me up, and then I can cultivate more of it.”

So what small joys lift you up?

Cheers,

Nancy & the Snark

Footnotes From Corrine: Oh, do I have a few things to say about this because when I was going through cancer  2016 I faced this kind of toxic positivity. "The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience." source: The Psychology Group

I feel before you can look at ways to address the negative, to work around it, to challenge it, it requires acknowledging the negative in the first place.  

 I posted this on my blog in 2016.

"If you read this article by Barbara Ehrenreich you will get the title of today's dear "stupid effing cancer" diary entry. This is NOT to criticize other people's coping mechanisms, we each have to do what we feel will help us best. However the "tyranny of positive thinking" and pressure to keep all other emotions bottled up can seriously undermine a patients health. Cancer is not a gift, it is not a universal plan, it will not make me more spiritual, it does not make me appreciate life more (hello I already appreciated it and want to cling onto it). If optimism and cheerfulness are supposed to be a cure, then I wouldn't have gotten cancer in the first flippin' place.  If eating healthy and being physically healthy with lots of exercise and cutting out sugar is supposed to prevent cancer I wouldn't have gotten cancer in the first flippin' place. "

Now my little footnote vent is over, HAH! 

What little things give me joy? Watching and listening to the birds.

I love what you wrote about observing small joys daily Nancy, 

 "it’s helped me identify what lifts me up, and then I can cultivate more of it.”