Parkinson's: I'm Done! I'm not Done. I'm Done!

 A Journey into Parkinson's with Nancy Mellon

Coordinated by Corrine Bayraktaroglu

Nancy Mellon by Corrine Bayraktaroglu

I'm Done! I'm not Done. I'm Done!

Last week, I thought “I'm done!”  One too many nights of no sleep or very fragmented and light sleep-plus worrying about Steven having his sleep get fragmented because he was putting on Bedtime Stories for me every time I came up for air, to lure me down again into the deep.

For 3 nights, the stories helped and then it started again- no sleep.

At different times in my life, I have thought, I'm done. (By the way, please don't worry, I am not talking about planning a suicide. I have never done that. I think I have always been blessed with so much love around me that I knew I couldn't do that to the people who love me.)

So I would go on and the next day brought it's reasons for living: these days it's a kiss on the head-from my husband as he passes by; a tiny girl hugging my leg; a cup of iced decaf coffee with almond milk that turns an errand with my husband into a date; a bird trilling; the play of sunlight and shadow seen through the branches of the trees. Even with little sleep you can find a reason for living and fill your heart with happiness.

Not sleeping is a serious mood depressor, you know it is bad for your health. It screws up when you take your medicine and your Parkinson's symptoms gain new venom. I have been moving slowwwww.

The last 5 nights, I have given in and taken my Movement Disorder Specialist's suggestion.  I have begun taking a long lasting Carbidopa/Levodopa pill at 9pm. I also take 10mg of melatonin.  That's a lot of Melatonin, but she said I could go up to 15! My friend Deb has left me a magazine on our front stoop. Life Extension-”The Science of a Healthier Life”  It has an article that talks about mega doses of melatonin. “Emerging Data indicate that melatonin may help protect against cancer, improve immune function and reduce inflammation.”

1.     The first night,  Huzzah! I had the best, deep, continuous sleep I have had in years.

2.     The next 2 nights were  not quite as good, but still Good! Could it be? Is this the answer?

3.     But the last 2 nights, were not as good..... OK,.. Maybe because of stress? 

•       This week, we had taken the opportunity of the kids being away on vacation to patch the cracks and paint their ceiling and one wall of their room. They were coming home on Friday and everything that had been taken out of their room, to be able to do the work, had to be put back in their room.

•       Plus, I was worried about the Pet Stress test I was due to have that morning.  It turned out to be a good experience due to a wonderful crew of technicians and nurses who talked me through each part, at the hospital. 

Nevertheless, by 3 pm yesterday I was so exhausted that I wanted to cry.  The kids had just gotten home from their vacation, (a 5 hour ride home, with a 3 year old and a 5 year old) and we had just barely finished putting their room back together.  Everyone was tired, the kids  were tired (but had a good vacation!) and it was time to go to T ball.

I was done.  I didn't go, I napped and it was heavenly!  I'm not done!

 Last night, I was up by 2:45 and then it was a light sleep for the rest of the night and I was out of bed by 6:30.  First I met up with Breni, who said he didn't sleep last night.  Then Kelsey came dragging downstairs with the girls, and  said he was up over and over with Emberlee. Zyn sure looks tired today too-sheesh, we are Grand Central Station around here at night!

Hmm, I might be done. Then again I'm not done.  Am I done?

 Well you are,

Sleep with the angels,

and maybe the Snarks,

Nancy & the Snark

 Footnotes From Corrine

Somehow this just seemed the right photo to share. There in the crack on the sidewalk and the grass or weed fights to live and grow. It has a beauty in its existence as it casts is shadows onto the sidewalk.

""There will always be events in your life that are memorable. Yet, it is the day-to-day events, the mundane the usual the everyday times that will add-on and build your life, happiness, and success. Every day, every hour, every minute, they all matter."

 Frank C. Church