Parkinson's: I am the Captain of my Ship

A Journey into Parkinson's with Nancy Mellon

Coordinated by Corrine Bayraktaroglu 

I am the Captain of my Ship

Snark here: “I am the captain of her ship.”  

Or at least it feels that way to me some nights.

Fran at our last writing session,  gave us a writing prompt that included the phrase “If you're the Captain of your ship...”  I found myself writing; “I have never been the captain of my ship.  I have always felt outside events or other people or God steered the course.”  But thinking about it during this troubled week of insomnia, leg pains, and unsureness about what was causing these troubles, I decided, I am, who else could be?

I am the Captain of my ship. I need to steer the course and head into calmer waters.  So instead of relying on Dr"s to tell me what the answer is, I have been reading and thinking and listening to my body.  I have come to some conclusions.  I think I am under medicated.  I tried messaging my movement disorder specialist (can I get away with writing MDS? I'd sure like to.), but there wasn't enough space to talk about all that was going on.  And her answer wasn't an answer that I felt I could do.

I made a list of things I can do.

This morning, I called to get a telehealth appointment.  Couldn't get one for 3 months!  I left a phone message for her assistant.  In a half an hour, she called back with a telehealth appointment for this Thursday.  I feel blessed.

 What does it mean to be the captains of our ships?  We need to believe in our ability to captain a ship, we need to learn to read maps, to rescue ourselves, to know how to steer the ship, to be far seeing to look out for rocks and pirates or storms approaching! Also we need to be a good delegator and get enough rest!

To be bold and brave, brave and bold like Commander Toad. (I couldn't resist-Commander Toad was a beloved children's book I read to my sons.)

I have never wanted to be a Captain. But do I want to be in charge of my own life? Yes, with fringe benefits of others to call on when I need a crew to help. 

Bold & Brave, Brave & Bold,

Commander Nancy and first mate the Snark

Footnotes from Corrine

back in AZ and drinking cappucino's

Well since we are talking of ships and the sea I LOVE sea shanties so here is one for you Captain.

I'll be glad to serve on your ship, but I don't like your first mate HAH!