Parkinson's: Creativity and being Brazen

 

A Journey into Parkinson's with Nancy Mellon

Coordinated by Corrine Bayraktaroglu

If Not Now, When?

In 2022,  Tatiana Gallardo committed to doing everything that terrified her for an entire year.

She said she'd do “The things I have dreamt of doing but disregarded. Launching this newsletter is move number one, and it is debilitatingly daunting—but if not now, when? And if not here, where?” “Rather than waiting for an opportunity, I am creating my opportunity.” 

Brazenface

By Tatiana Gallardo 

“The first time I heard the word 'brazen' in English class. I was 12, timid, and struck by the meaning of the word and its power. Bold and without shame. It felt like something I could never be: audacious, capable of doing whatever, without worry.” 

Tatiana Gallardo is a writer and coward in recovery.

Why am I writing about Brazenface? I think because I love the idea behind it. She has given herself a challenge to be brazen. She is creating her opportunity.  She also uses her own visual art through out her newsletter.

But there is tension for me between the Spoon Theory of explaining how you need to conserve your energy and  rest when you need to and the “doing whatever, without worry” idea.

The temptation for me to feel that I am at- the limiting stage of life, is strong.

Aging and health issues are limiting, I can't do whatever without worry.

But I love the word Brazen! I want to still be able to be Brazen! Can I find a way to still be “Brazen” “bold and without shame” even though  I am not “capable of doing whatever, without worry?” 

Yes, I think anyone can be Brazen at any age. 

How? I'm thinking  about it. How would you like to be Brazen? For that matter, would you like to be Brazen?

First off,  I am going to work on that word worry. I have lived my life in worrydom. I'm done with that. My next project is to start a Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) class on line.  Stay tuned for information about it as I work on it.

I found out about Tatiana's newsletter in the “Isolation Journals”  I get a lot of ideas and wisdom from the The Isolation Journals.   They were founded by writer Suleika Jaouad. It is “an artist-led community and publishing platform that cultivates creativity and fosters connection in challenging times.”  

Suleika, has been dealing with cancer for many years.

Lately the question Suleika has asked herself is, “What would be most loving—to myself or my body—right now? Whether it’s a slow stroll.. or an afternoon nap or clearing my evening, I’m working to accept the answer, to tend to it without guilt.”

I don't think there is a cognitive disconnect between the taking care of myself and being Brazen and trying new things. I think the difference is I need to know how many spoons I have left in a day and then choosing what I want to do- be it bold and audacious or peaceful and nourishing. And in the choosing have no shame. (Now-I am not averse to a little shame. I think some shame keeps the human race from eating each other!)

Take good care of yourself, and be a little Brazen when you want to be!

Nancy & the Snark

Footnotes From Corrine

I really enjoyed visiting the Isolation Journal and liked the whole concept. I took the bold step of actually signing up for an online art class using a medium I feel no confidence with.