Parkinson's: CBT Therapy

 

A Journey Into Parkinson's with Nancy Mellon 
Coordinated by Corrine Bayraktaroglu

 CBT Therapy?

I am 3 sessions into my CBT Therapy.  What do I want from it, is still the question I am asking myself.

       I originally wanted it to help with my sleep.  But that is going pretty well these days. 

       Also it was to help combat/control/squelch/lower my normal level of anxiety. I have always been an anxious person. The Pandemic didn't help, (me or anyone else.)

       My major reason for wanting to do CBT therapy was as a sort of preemptive strike for the uptick in anxiety that might come as I go along the Parkinson's continuum.  In all the PD literature it talks about anxiety being a problem as well as depression for people with Parkinson's. I wanted more tools to fight against it.

Where have we gotten so far in the sessions? We are getting to know each other. But each time, I don't know what to talk about.  I realized last time that I felt anxious during the sessions. Which feels a bit odd and counter productive. I am not sure why.

       She has suggested I meditate before I go to bed and when I get up.  And suggested a “cord cutting” meditation to use on you tube, that she likes. I tried it once, and couldn't concentrate-found myself doodling, my eyes and hands gravitating towards my colored pencils. I have tried to meditate for many years- It is a very good tool to have in your wellness box, I know that, I have read books about it, I have taken classes in it, participated in webinars about it,  agree with it, but.....

       She also suggested Journaling when I feel an emotion to help figure out what triggered it.

       We also talked about sitting with your emotions, allow them to be and to flow through you. I'm not sure what that means in practice.

       We talked about setting boundaries with kindness.

       And about being more assertive. 

       I have decided to finally use the CBT Toolbox workbook by Jeff Riggenbach, PhD, LPC, that Steven got me years ago.  It has questions to ask yourself and pages to fill out.  I think I need the extra guidance.

 I would like to become more aware of what I am thinking.  Does that sound strange to you?  Do you know what your thoughts are saying to you? The other night I listened to myself and realized that I was thinking negative things about my body. Not Parkinson's related more aging related. 

 I am looking for answers to the anxiety in other places too.

 What follows is from a wonderful book about children and parenting, that Zyn found called “”Easy to love, Difficult to Discipline” The 7 Basic Skills for turning Conflict Into Cooperation.  By Becky A. Bailey, Ph.D.   So how does a book about how to parent better have answers to my anxiety and my wondering what to say during my CBT sessions?  

Becky Baily begins by saying “self-control is mind control. It is being aware of your own thoughts and feelings.”  We are back to do you know what you are thinking about?

“By having this awareness, you become the director of your behavior.  Lack of self control turns your life over to people , events, and things as you careen through life on remote control, either unconscious of your self or focused solely on what other people are thinking and feeling.”

“Becoming aware of your own thoughts and feelings is a major accomplishment, and the first step toward self-control.”   “Most people don't have a clue to what they are thinking.”

My hand is up. I don't have a clue.

Paying attention to your self always seemed selfish. But I think it is what I need now to go forward.

 Here are the 7 Powers for Self Control that she offers in her book. “They can foster self control in both adults and children. The seven powers will allow you to look at life through a lens of love rather than through a lens of fear.”

 The 7 Powers For Self Control

The Power of  Attention: What you focus on, you get more of.

       Pay attention to the many occasions when you tell your self what not to do and what you don't want. Then consciously begin to redirect your attention by focusing on what to do and what you do want. 

       When you are upset, you are always focused on what you don't want.

The Power of Love: See the best in one another.

       Wish people well. Do this silently from your heart, while you are driving,standing in lines, or passing people on the street.  Notice how you feel when you do this.

       Affirm to yourself, “What I offer to others, I give to myself.”

The Power of Acceptance: This moment is as it is.

       Practice being present in each moment. Instead of wearing yourself down with what you should have done or what you need to do practice being where you are.

       Practice being in the moment by noticing things. Describe what you see to yourself. Make no judgments.

       If you start to become upset when things are not going the way you think they should, breathe deeply and affirm, “This moment is as it is, and I can relax.”

The Power of Perception: No one can make you angry without your permission.

       Notice how your thinking creates your feelings, if you are angry, sad  or anxious, check to  see what you are thinking  and where your mind is directed. 

       When you are upset say to your self,  “I feel angry and it's okay.  Or I feel anxious and it's okay.

The Power of Intention: Conflict is an opportunity to teach.

       Whenever conflict arises, breathe deeply  and affirm, 'conflict is an opportunity to teach and learn.

       Ask your self “what is my intention in this situation?”

       Focus on responding to conflict rather than trying to eliminate it. Ask your self  “Am I looking  for blame or solutions?” Blame attempts to prevent conflicts from happening. Solutions seek to teach answers to future conflicts.

The Power of Free Will: the only person you can make change is yourself.

       Become aware of how often you think others are making you do things.

       Notice how often you use the words “should' and “have to.” Change your “shoulds” to “coulds.” Then make a choice.

       Practice  allowing others to have their own thoughts  and feelings. Resist the urge to try and make others happy or convince them you have all the answers.

The Power of Unity: Focus on connecting instead of trying to be special.

       In stressful situations ask yourself “Do I want to be special, or do I want to connect with this person?” “Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?

       Unity can arise from letting go of the need to compare oneself to others, and choosing instead to connect through a sense of equality. We all need to belong and to feel connected to something larger than ourselves, and further to, to feel that we contribute to the well-being of that whole. We want to feel valued and connected. The Power of Unity is about this feeling that we are bound to one another, and, at the same time, have unique contributions  to make.

 Wow! Thank you Becky Baily!

 Cheers,

Nancy & the Snark

May I be safe and free and protected from inner and outer harm.
May I be happy and contented.
May I be healthy and whole to whatever degree possible.
May I experience ease of well-being.
May you be safe and free and protected from inner and outer harm.
May you be happy and contented.
May you be healthy and whole to whatever degree possible.
May you experience ease of well-being.

Footnotes From Corrine
wow, great post with many things to ponder. 
Sometimes the path towards ease of well-being and peace is learning to let go. That is not easy when one has clung onto the belief that

being kind,  patient, and supportive will forge positive results when dealing with people  Sometimes things and circumstances are just beyond our control and some conflicts cannot be solved.  Letting go and accepting is for me the first step to forging a new path. 

 

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