Parkinson's: Poetry by Jim Sheridan

 

Snarky Parky & me

A Journey Into Parkinson's with Nancy Mellon

Coordinated by Corrine Bayraktaroglu

Guest Post by Jim Sheridan

 I believe that there is a need to give a voice to those who have Parkinson's. Parkinson's is a rare breed, for it not only gives us weird stammers and tremors but it robs us of our voice. It also disguises our agony with the Parkinson's mask, which others seem to interpret as "I don't care about anyone or anything".

One glimmer of hope, one light at the end-of-the-tunnel, is having Parkinson's has made me the best person I have yet to be.

When I was diagnosed, friends and family said:

"what's up with you?"

 "you never did this stuff before"

"you're not acting the same, this isn't you.".

What were they speaking of?

I hadn't gone to a doctor since I was 12 years old. Now I have a Primary-Care doctor, an Endocrine specialist, a Neurologist, a Movement Specialist, a Dermatologist, a Podiatrist, a Rheumatologist , and all sorts of therapist, dietitians and trainers.

I was scared to DEATH!

I thought I was going to die.

I felt the cold breath of the grim reaper on the back of my neck.

 I felt just like Ebenezer Scrooge...I was given a second chance to change.

I was given Parkinson's, Diabetes, Arthritis and Psoriasis.

 I started going to the gym everyday for hours.

I joined every support group that I could locate.

I have T-shirts that proclaim:

•      "I'm battling Parkinson's, what super power do you have?,

•      "No I'm not drunk, no I'm not on drugs I HAVE PARKINSONS"

•      "NO I AM NOT A ZOMBIE...I HAVE PARKINSONS".

These little things bring the disease out of the dark, in people's face and start conversations.

When I was told about my condition, I swore I was going to hide it, I was not going to claim it....then a BOOM! happened in my head,

and I knew:

I'm going to tell everyone,

 I'm not going to go down without a fight.

 As long as there is an ounce of fight in me,

 I'm going to embarrass the HELL out of this disgusting disease.

 

Yes I changed.  Before, I never went anywhere, I never extended myself to help others,,,,but now like Scrooge, I have time to make up for.

 

Parkies,

The other day I was watching Johnny Cash's last music video Hurt on YouTube.

It shows Johnny going through the years, happy times, sad times, hard times, successes  & failures

Despair and regrets are a constant memory.

I was inspired by that video to write this poem; THE DISEASE.

Sometimes it's hard to separate.

 

THE DISEASE

 

This disease

This disease and me

 

I can't remember if I can feel

Everything still feels unreal

This disease stole my sense of taste

Food has become such a tragic waste

It wasn't content with just my appetite

It wanted more, and more, everything in sight

It took my sense of smell, in the other hand

Every little joy and pleasure it demands

It took whatever was left of my dignity

Hopelessness abounds, sans the Holy Trinity

 

I shuffle, I stammer, I fall

In the past I stood firm and tall

In my younger days, I was strong and proud

Disease burst into my life fast and loud

It disrupts, rearranges and ransacks your whole life

It cuts completely through like a knife

Rips everything apart like a train through a hurricane

Leaving you feeling the world's going insane

 

My disease and I

Have become inseparable

My disease is irreparable

I forget where I begin and where my disease ends

Everything in the end, everything blends 

My condition is handed down

I've been given a thorny crown

Made to feel like a circus clown

 

I've been given a life sentence

No chance of repentance

Behind these bars of steel

My disease and my ordeal

In the cold, dank, dark cage, I fall and kneel

This all seems so unreal

 

What about my family, what about my wife

They should not suffer, the sentence was mine for life

This disease affects everyone, not just me

Why must others suffer

Why make matters tougher

I bleed red, dark crimson

The disease is Parkinson's

Jim Sheridan

                    2023