Parkinson’s 2023 Blog 5 by Neil A. Silvert-

 

Parkinson’s 2023 Blog 5

by Neil A. Silvert- 11/14/23

Dear Nancy asked if I would write this post. I am honored and humbled to be telling my experience with Parkinson’s so far. l won’t be nearly as informative about the latest treatments. Thus far I’m not doing a whole lot in terms of therapies. I like to think that’s because I’m strong enough to withstand this neurological, lead blanket. I feel it. Anyone who has this disease feels it, although the weird thing is that it hits each one of us in different ways, in different places and with different intensity. All I know for sure is that I’m at where I’m at right now.

Where I’m at right now is: my tremor is localized to my right arm; I get more tired earlier than I used to; by early evening I’m slower (my late friend who had it pretty bad called it feeling “lethargic”); it takes more effort to speak quickly; I think I’m not as mentally alert as I was; Blah, Blah, Blah...

It’s called aging. Old cars have loose connections and rusty bodies. Often they aren’t as efficient. Same with us, whether we have Parkinson’s or not. I saw one old person’s quote: “Of course we can’t remember as much. We have an overload of information stored from all those years to dig through.”

So what do we do about it? Back in my early days of hanging out in bars, there was an old Irish guy who lived to be 99. He drank a shot of whiskey every morning until his last morning. His family (all big drinkers) said, “See! If grandpa had had a shot that morning, he wouldn’t have died.” It’s all to do with our perspective. How we look at life matters.

I believe that I can defy this neurological, lead blanket with just a little more effort every day until I don’t have the strength any more to lift that shot glass. Actually, I’ve barely touched any alcohol in a few years, because it takes a lot of effort to move as it is, and drinking would make it even harder. I used to like a couple of glasses of wine or a couple of beers to loosen up my inhibitions, but as I get older I’m making an effort to be more impulsive without any outside assistance. If I act stupid, the people who like me will like me anyhow. I’m riding a wave that’s full of foamy fun- I’ve got a great wife, my boys are great, my dog loves me, I have friends, I do what I love, my granddaughter thinks I’m funny and so forth and so on...

Parkinson’s is a son of a gun! I know I’m lucky that I don’t have it worse. I appreciate the people like Nancy who are doing so much work to investigate what works and what doesn’t to alleviate the symptoms. I’m just gliding along taking care of myself. But I look up to those who are trying to figure out how to defeat this disease. I’m not there yet, but if and when it starts to weigh me down so much I can barely stand it, maybe then I’ll be selfless enough to contribute more to others’ welfare. Just being a slightly egocentric Parkinson’s person- so far.

I’m privileged to have all I have and that my Parkinson’s is just part of the package of my wonderful life that I need to accept.

How I react to what happens to me is the only thing I have control of. My sporadic back pain can be limiting. There have been times when I’ve struggled to do anything besides sit or lie down. I’d look in the mirror. I was crooked. I had to cancel all my dog training for a few days. I’ve found a chiropractor who’s helped me get back in alignment, and then in a couple of days I’m better. I feel for those who can’t afford to get help for any medical issues- I’m lucky! If I were in their shoes I don’t know if I could cope, yet I have met some of those people who act joyful and grateful. They are my heroes.

 As I get old, my body is deteriorating, yet there is no rule that says that my attitude must crumble too. If I accept the unfortunate fact that my back hurts and I’m crooked that will help me find peace rather than thinking: “Why me?” or “This pain will kill me” or “My life’s worthless” and on and on... Those reactions would cause me more suffering- they are the “second arrow.” It’s no fun to be shot with an arrow, but if we focus on removing the arrow and healing the wound, we may be alright, and if we are going to die, then we need to appreciate each of our last breaths.

That is my goal, although it won’t be easy.

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As for my Parkinson’s, my tremor is getting more intense, but I’m working on simply noticing it. A mental health therapist suggested that I get back into daily meditation. Well, this morning when I set the timer for twenty minutes, I had to work hard for half that time to not be upset that my right arm was tremoring, and then I finally made peace with that reality. Then I was able to concentrate on my breath coming in and then going out. That is what I will try again tomorrow morning and every morning thereafter because it feels like what I have to do to find peace.

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Footnote From Corrine

May your  Winter Holidays be loving, kind, gentle, safe and happy. Sending love to you all.

Corrine