Parkinson's: Guest Post by Paul T. LaPrise

 Snarky Parky & me

A Journey Into Parkinson's with Nancy Mellon 

Blog Coordinated by Corrine Bayraktaroglu

THE LIGHT MOMENTS OF PARKINSONS

Guest Post by Paul T. LaPrise 

Parkinsons is a burden that makes both the interior and exterior of a human being hard to manage, and it constantly keeps people on edge discovering new difficulties that push us to the bridge of over-reaction or anger.  Phew!  Now that’s a lot to bear.  Even for tough guys. 

What can you do?  Truth be told:  Very little.  In one form or another we all do the meds, the exercise, the counseling, the PT, and many possible alternatives attuned to our particular bodies. Like any person with a major disease we come to let it dominate our existence.  We become a bit obsessed, and not as much fun.  Shame on you for not having fun. 

So physically, you are covered, and you have a plan of attack.  Into battle you go.  Unfortunately, there are not so many aids for the inner you.  You know,  your spirit, your soul, your land of dreams and visions. A place with only limited connections to the exterior world. But a wealth of resources for you, and a part of yourself you need to invest in.  I am speaking of that inner you. 

Given a brief search you might find that there are moment of lightness that blossom now and again in your relationship with “Snarky-Park.”.  That’s not light as in brightness, but light as in less burden- Not so much weight.-Less stress.  In essence you overcome the Snark working from inside.   These moments mean you learn to understand some of the things you have been needlessly fighting.  Lighten the load.  If you have a short detente with your opposition you find yourself losing irritation and finding a little Nirvana, so to speak.

 I keep a mental list I call “The Incredible Lightness of Being Parkinsons,” (pun intended) where I store away moments when I exposed my disease to the public or family in some unintended but embarrassing fashion, and instead of shrinking up, or shutting down, or struggling, I open myself to the facts of my life and smile at the situation, or the moment, but most importantly -I laugh at the Parkinsons and not at myself.  I will give you a couple of examples of me bullying Parkinsons instead of succumbing.

Favorite restaurant. 

I am grouchy, and irritable , and fussy. 

As I eat, I say  “These are the worst hash browns I have ever had.”

Wife says “You are eating scrambled eggs, not hash browns.” 

Angrily I say “I ordered hash browns and I want to know where they are!

Wife looks up and says.  “They are on the other side of your plate.”

I set down my fork, and smile, a little. 

Wife Snorts. ….

I start to laugh, and before you know it my table and waitress were all laughing.  My self included.  We managed to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. 

And to this day. if I order hash browns, both my wife and I convulse. 

Parkinsons can have lightness.

Part The Deux

I will preface this example by noting that I like being comfortable. I like dressing the same way all the time, and often in the same clothes I might have worn earlier in the week.  Makes no difference I think.  Just another day at the office. 

My wife and I are at the Neurologist. 

Long drive, arthritis is nagging, long walk and long wait. Ill at ease at best. 

As I talk to the Doc, I notice my wife keeps looking at me and shaking her head. I knew I was in trouble, and the clouds begin to gather.  Then, the minute we were out in the hall she turned and said.  “I have to get you some new clothes.” “You look like a homeless person.”

 And, of course she is right.  Combine a bedraggled experience with the depression of Parkinsons, and it could be darkness. But being called a homeless person made me laugh. And I did get a new coat and 6 pairs of sexy underwear.

Parkinsons has lightness.

And is there value in this effort? For me there is. 

Each time I find ways to alleviate the mess of the moment, I lift myself from the morass, and keep my spirit full and rich.  Even the smallest moment of lightness is a step forward as opposed to mucking about in the mud. 

I know it is a weird proposition. 

Asking you to smile at your weaknesses,

instead of doing battle every day, all day. 

But don’t take my word for it.  Try it for yourself. 

Seek for lightness in your battle.